What's in a name?

So throughout my pregnancy Felipe and I have gone through a number of name discussions. We had our girl's name picked out almost immediately. The boy's name was much harder. Of course, due to our difficulty in agreeing on a name, we were not surprised when the ultrasound tech told us we were having a boy. Well, actually she sealed it in an envelope and we "discussed" opening it (I persuaded, he determinedly refused) for three weeks until he finally gave in. We have since agreed on a name for our little boy... a first name that is...

Our Minnesota and Mexico mixing lead us down another path of name discussion. When we got married, I kept my traditional Scandinavian name of Johnson. I am in real estate where name recognition is a large part of business so I decided to take the "easy route" and not change. However, there is no doubt in my mind that any children of ours would have Felipe's family name and be Dominguez. I never thought this would lead to any sort of discussion or argument until Felipe told me one day that the baby would be Johnson. I was surprised and even more surprised when I realized he was completely serious and determined.

Up until three weeks ago I was adamant about the baby taking Felipe's name and would not even consider any other idea on grounds of being so nontraditional. When we both want to focus on the positive of being bicultural and teach him to be proud of his Mexican heritage, not giving him his father's name seems very contradictory to that message. However, the legislation in Arizona that the governor signed into law on April 23rd, made me see Felipe's side of the argument for the first time.

Known as SB1070, the law gives Arizona police the right to question anyone who "appears to be illegal" and require them to prove legal status on the spot. Legal residents are required to carry their green cards at all times or face 6 months in jail and/or a $2500 fine if they are caught without one. Of course, that is after the person has been detained until they have proved their status.  Now, Felipe was told by our attorney to always carry his green card so I don't really see that as a big issue. What upsets me is that we could be on vacation in Arizona and Felipe decides to run across the street from our hotel and pick up a pop and snack so just grabs a few bucks and leaves his wallet behind. Meanwhile a crabby cop is filling up his squad car and decides Felipe looks suspicious and asks him to prove his status. Since he doesn't have his green card he is now detained and fined and possibly jailed... All because of his cinnamon skin, black hair and accent.

I do agree that something needs to be done to solve the undocumented worker issue and the drug problems along the border. However, I do not believe the argument that there will be no racial profiling. When my parents, Felipe and I came back from El Paso we reached a border control checkpoint. The guard stopped us and asked us all for our status. My parents and I said we were citizens and Felipe said he was a permanent resident. The border guard did not ask for any of our US passports but made Felipe show his papers. Maybe this was because of his non-citizen status but I tend to believe it was due to the color of his skin versus ours. I hope that when he becomes a citizen we get in a similar situation so I can test my theory.

During week surrounding the controversial Arizona SB1070, there was also an uptick in news reports about hate crimes regarding Latinos. In March, there was a group of teenage Caucasians accused of beating and killing a man in New York on a night of "beaner hopping" as they called it. Also, there was a story with video of a Guatemalan man laying on a New York street bleeding. The video showed more than six people walking by and looking at him, one person even snapping pictures, with not a single one calling for help or checking to see if he was alive.

The idea of anyone looking at Felipe and making assumptions about him based on the color of his skin or his accent gives me extreme pain. I know when he fills out his name on an application the person on the other end automatically knows his ethnicity and could possibly be making conclusions about his legal status. Laying in bed and watching the reports of hate crimes against Latinos and discussions of racial profiling, Felipe and I are both saddened. Though the thought of Felipe being judged and given a hard time because of his name or color, the idea of our child facing discrimination is unbearable to both of us. I finally see why Felipe thinks it would be "better" for our child to be Johnson. Seeing his name on paper would conjure a different image with my name versus Felipe's. Felipe has dealt with prejudice and bias based on his name for the last 15 years and he doesn't want his son to be given a hard time or lose out on opportunities because of something we can control.

How do we choose?  Can we have it both ways? Can we teach him to be proud of his name and heritage while still protecting him from prejudice and racial hatred? I don't know. We will be naming him with a middle name of Johnson and last name of Dominguez because we believe it sends the message we want... to be proud of both sides of your family and embrace and appreciate the mix that we are. I am just sad that I finally see Felipe's side and realize the pain he has felt. It is easier to relate when I am thinking about my child. Today is the 60th anniversary of the historic supreme court case of Brown vs. Board of Education that was supposed to end racial segregation in the US. The news report was showing inner city schools and the high percentage of minorities that attend them versus the more "white" suburban schools. It was an interesting story and opened my eyes more than ever before since both my husband and child will be minorities. It makes my heart hurt to think of the difference in how Felipe and I are perceived and treated and I dread the first time I discover my son is treated unequally due to his race.

May 1st - Mexico vs. US

The first of May is a holiday for both Felipe and I. Here in Minnesota, we celebrate May Day, or at least we used to. My mother's parents met when my grandpa and a couple of his siblings delivered May baskets to my grandma and her family, the new neighbors in the area. May baskets were little baskets usually filled with flowers or treats of some kind. They were hung on a front door, and the person delivering would ring the bell and run. The person receiving had to catch them and once they were caught they had to deliver a kiss. I never asked my grandma if she actually caught my grandpa that day but she certainly caught his eye. Apparently this basket tradition is still around because my sister had two baskets delivered to her house on May Day by family friends. Nobody was caught and kissed though!

In Mexico, May 1st is International Worker's Day or "Labor Day" where everyone has the day off and it is a common day for protests. This is actually a world-wide event celebrated in places like India, Sweden and Australia as well. Since 2006, the Immigrant community across the US, mainly Latino immigrants, have chosen May 1st as a day to lead rally's for immigration reform. Felipe and I were considering going to Saturday's rally in Minneapolis but unfortunately, when I woke up my left foot looked like a swollen sausage and I could barely get a shoe on my foot. I did not know if it would be wise to squeeze into a shoe and then waddle for a mile or two at eight-and-a-half months pregnant. Thankfully the rally in Minnesota was peaceful and about 2000 people turned out to show support for immigrant rights. The rally was lead by a huge Mexican flag. For a while in 2007 I was attending meetings for an Immigrant rights group. I did raise the point at one meeting that if you were fighting to become a US citizen you should show pride in the US by carrying our countries flag and not your home country. It was not a well received point but it seemed to make sense to me.

Día del niño

Every April 30th, Mexicans take time out of their day to celebrate and honor the children. This morning I couldn’t sleep when Felipe got up (4:30am) so I turned on Univision in an attempt to expose myself and the boy inside me to Spanish. When Felipe came back in the room there was a news story about today being the Day of the Children or Día del niño. He seemed almost as excited now as he must have been as a child living in Mexico. Today all the children will be getting cookies and ice cream in school and will get to play games for most of the day. There is one celebration that I found in the Twin Cities (at Mercado Central in Minneapolis) which I guess we won’t go to this year but will have to plan on going to in the future. One more thing to put on the calendar in our attempt to incorporate as much of Mexico into our lives as possible living in Minnesota.

Reality TV?

Well, I'll admit that I am addicted (somewhat unhealthily) to crime shows like "Forensic Files," "NCIS," "CSI" and the like. One that I don't watch too frequently because it can be extremely disturbing is "Criminal Intent." However, the trailer for the most recent episode intrigued me so I tuned in. The storyline was about a serial killer near the Texas/Mexico border who was riding around on a 4-wheeler chasing illegal aliens through the desert, killing and beheading them. Not only that but there was a scene that showed a coyote (the term used for people who are paid to smuggle the aliens across) running a safe house where the aliens stop before moving on to their final destination. The coyote raped one of the women, and she was begging the FBI agent not to let her son see her that way. It was all very unsettling and sad because I know these shows usually have a thread of truth running through them.

It is not hard to believe that the people who are so vulnerable in crossing get taken advantage of and abused. I know people who have brought their young children across and now as I'm getting closer to having my own child I am torn when I think what I would do. Risk the life of my child for the promise of a better life? Leave him behind with family and go myself so I can send money home to give him a better life, but a life without me in it?

I have admiration for the people who make the journey across fences, rivers, desert and mountains to try and give their families a better life. I have seen some of the areas with extreme poverty in Mexico and it isn't hard to imagine people feeling hopeless and like they have no other options. I am also thankful for the people I know who have made the journey, because without them my life would be completely different.

To switch or not to switch

In preparation for some life changes and getting back into the swing of blogging (partly to stay competitive with my big sis' who's started a really great blog at www.justtwofarmkids.com) I've been looking into Wordpress and thinking of switching things over there. They seem to have a lot more flexibility in design (85 templates vs. about 15 for blogger) and a big bonus is that I can import all of my posts over there. So if you are a reader and have stuck by me though I haven't posted anything in almost 6 months (pregnancy has definitely turned my world upside down for awhile) don't be surprised if you see a change in the near future... Well, near might be an optimistic word since I've been the ultimate procrastinator.